I had a dream...

My dad was born in the middle of World War II. Mum just after. My grandparents experienced the terror of both World Wars in Poland as well as earlier conflict where the whole family had to run leaving their whole livelihood behind to seek shelter while their village was being burnt down by the invader. My maternal grandfather apparently escaped a train destined for Siberia during WWII… I come from a very troubled ancestry line. Wounds inflicted were too grand to bare so my loved ones developed survival tactics. Pain and trauma was not something that was talked about. They numbed it by burying it all well down. 

As far as ancestry line we’re far more connected than what we think. Until addressed and healed, ancestral wounds and patterns are repeated and passed down from generation to generation. I'm aware my children carry some of the wounding. I don't project it onto them though. Instead, I try and create a safe and loving space. Space where vulnerability is encouraged and where they can just be with all their emotions that come up to the surface. A space where they feel held, understood and acknowledged. We carry an energetic imprint in our DNA of past traumatic events. Our bodies, minds, souls remembering the pain. And until we release that energy with love and compassion we will subconsciously manifest those wounds in our reality. When I talk about subconscious it can go deep. Lifetimes deep.

When I was a little girl I had a lot of war dreams. Nightmares. Always me and my other “little” brother. Feeling the terror, the destruction and so terrified I’d lose him too. I didn’t understand those dreams back then... My war dream returned the other day. I saw a beautiful older couple. There was so much love between those two. But they had to run, if they wanted to have a chance at living. They had to leave it all behind. The life as they knew it, the dreams and go seperate ways for better chances at survival with hope they’ll be able to rebuild their dream, hope they’ll be reunited again. I was there with them trying to find shelter and then ammunition and grenades started flying our way. That moment I didn’t know where the couple were. I lost track of them. All of it was terrifying, but I stood up, came out of hiding and with my heart space wide open I walked towards the gun fire a shield of protective energy around me. Not afraid anymore. I woke up with a fright and though of the Palestinian conflict that was happening at the moment and all those hurting. That day I did a beautiful distant collective healing session to send love and light to all those innocent people, to all the dark places. To stop the pain. Thank God they announced a ceasefire the next day.

I’m healing ancestral patterns now. Deep deep patterns and by doing that I hope I’m helping others around me. We are all connected. When healing there are layers that are being peeled off. Those layers serve us a purpose at a time, but the more you come back to your own true authentic self the more layers get peeled off. The more growing you do, you realise what was your truth last year, 2 years ago, last week might not serve you anymore. On my healing journey with first layer I peeled off back in 1998, I learnt I deserved so much more than what I was willing to accept.

Once another layer got peeled off I learnt I’m capable.

With another layer, I learnt I’m worthy of happiness.

With another, I am worthy to receive.

With another, I learnt I was worthy of having my heart held.

With this last layer I journeyed into my dreams space, I journeyed into other dimensions. I learnt I had a dream. To build this life with another. A union of two souls. Masculine supporting feminine. After my brother and father I have lost a beloved grandfather and uncle. The trauma of the holocaust deeply imprinted in my DNA. My marriage didn’t work. The fear of losing a loved one, fear of abandonment and rejection manifested in my reality by me subconsciously either attracting emotionally unavailable people or sabotaging other connections for the fear of my heart being broken again. Extreme independence. My survival tactic. Only way I knew how to protect my heart. And it will keep on manifesting until I process the core wound. Time to let go. I’m ready. It’s ok to have dreams and desires and if they don’t turn out the way we expected to trust they were not meant to. I was meant to learn from those experiences. Learn I was coming “home” to my true authentic self. Learn that something better is waiting for me just around the corner. My dreams got shattered, but it doesn’t mean I’m not worthy. I’m ready. I trust.

And I’ve seen it with some of my clients, the collective. A common theme of dreams shattered and that unprocessed emotion blocking our minds and bodies from being at ease and manifesting illness and struggle in our reality. I believe amazing things can happen late in life, if only we truly believe. BELIEVE. You are worthy. We are worthy. It’s our birthright.

My truth now? I’m truly passionate about helping others break those ancestral trauma cycles. So, here it is to new dreams and adventures. To a new healing space hopefully soon. A safe place where you can feel held with love and compassion. All of you. Fears, hopes, desires and all. Healing can only happen when we embrace our pain. Are you ready to go on a journey with me?

Tomorrow night I will be holding a free distant Full Moon in Capricorn healing session for the collective. To release and let go of what no longer serves us so healing can take place and we can move on. Type in I'M READY in the comments so I can hold you in my heart and my energetic space during the healing session.

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From my heart to yours. With love and light. Marta ✨

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