The Pathless Path

It's been 4 month since the biggest realisation on my journey. A moment that changed me. Although it wasn't really a moment. It's been months of diving deep and going within, of facing my shadows. It's not an easy journey, but if you're willing and have the courage to take that leap there is an amazing reward waiting on the other side. It's called FREEDOM. Freedom from pain and trauma, freedom from old outdated beliefs and unhealthy patterns, freedom from the opinions and projections of others...

The move was exhausting, trying to get everything ready, but it felt so cleansing. Letting go. Letting go. LETTING GO. On the last day after coming back to our new home I collapsed exhausted, hands bruised and blistered from cleaning and moving stuff. I've done my best to leave the place physically and energetically ready for the new owners. I was looking forward to few days of rest and starting the journey of recalibrating, but Spirit had different plan. I was thrown straight into a whirlwind of homeschooling and trying to keep my eldest boy who's on an ASD spectrum safe. We've done meditating, walking, swimming, doing a lot of energy work, sound healing while waiting to see a specialist. Life got too much for him and we needed help immediately. But we got through this. We waited to see a psychologist 6 months, but we managed, I managed to bring him back out of the darkness just with the use of alternative methods. But just as I was trying to catch a breath my daughter embarked on her journey. Once you embark on your own healing journey, you create a safe space for others to go on theirs. She is transitioning to be a boy and it's had a huge impact on the family. Going deep, going on this journey Spirit stripped me off pretty much everything. I walked away from relationships that no longer served me, walked away from a job that no longer fulfilled me, I walked away from a dream of building a life with another on our farm. "Losing" a daughter felt like an absolute blow. Because of my healing, I so badly wanted to raise a daughter to be a woman who knows her worth, who knows how to stand up for herself, a woman full of self love and self respect, an empowered woman. And to be honest with you for a moment I felt like a failure and then I realised it was quite the contrary. I raised a child who wasn't afraid to be themselves, who was comfortable talking about their feelings. I provided that safe space for them to feel held. I was proud. Very proud. Of both of us and we fully, as a family, embraced the changes. As much as the first couple of months after the move were very tough I realise how much inner growth there has been for me.

I got pushed a few times to go within again, but not to heal, but to recalibrate this time. And no longer doing so from the place of trauma and pain, but from my true essence. I was faced once again with my deep wound of sexual trauma and fear of intimacy when I received more insight into my Akashic records and a new insight into a past life as one of the High Initiates of the Temple of Isis that explained a lot of my trauma around sexuality. The difference now is when I sit down to meditate I don't go to heal anything anymore, but to find clarity. I find the issue, the emotion might come up. I process it and let go. The few months since the move have been all about recalibrating and finding my own truth. It's quite an amazing feeling. It can be exhilarating, but the early days can also be scary at a time. You don't know who you are anymore. All old outdated believes and ways of doing things, relationships, especially the relationship with oneself don’t work anymore. The old self is "dead", but the new hasn't taken its form yet. You're literally rediscovering yourself, but now without any previous conditioning. A clean slate. It's like being born again and then going through all the stages of childhood, young adulthood again except this time you're conscious of your own decisions. Once you go through the dark night of the soul ( also known as ego death), the old self dies and new YOU is literally born. And you get to decide who you want to be. You are the one that chooses to stay in certain vibration, make certain choices, create your own reality. How do you know you're going through the dark night of the soul?? You'll feel it in your soul. It's a painful process realising you've lied to yourself your whole entire life or took on projections of others, but allow all the emotions to come up to the surface. Have love and compassion for yourself. You were only trying to survive. And remember, you've already have gone through all the trauma and you have survived. And realise how strong you are and nothing ever will hurt like that ever again. You are safe. You are loved. Let the emotions come up to the surface to finally process and let go. Don't fight it. Surrender. It'll make the process a little easier. 

I'm at a stage of complete surrender. I surrender to the journey of becoming and I'm fully committed to my growth. The "unseen world" is not really unseen to me. I walk with Spirit every day. The energetic upgrades, my dreams where I feel like I'm awake, my intuition have been getting an upgrade after an upgrade, days and nights have no beginning or end. I've reached a state of bliss I never thought possible. The time has stopped. I'm in the NOW. But I do have to admit it didn't happen overnight. When I was in the middle of the move and soon after my final epiphany on my healing part of the journey I thought it will just come to me. The answers. Where to next, my true purpose, but all I had in front of me was the unknown. And then day after day, one after another energetic alignment I arrived at a place of surrender to the unknown and marvel in the journey of becoming the best version of myself. It's a big journey to figure out who I truly am. I'm literally becoming a new version of myself and can't expect all the answers overnight. Patience. Be patient with myself. Have compassion for myself and allow time to grow. Let things unfold in their own divine timing. We are our own worst critics, because we were taught and conditioned that way. Shame, guilt, fear, feeling of being unloved, unwanted. We reach to outside to fill the void, because it's too painful to face our wounds. Until one day you're ready. You're ready to see your own magnificence, your own divinity, your light. You're tired of looking to outside for happiness and you go within. And when you find it it's called self love. And nobody can ever take it away from you. And you don't need respect or love from anyone, because you own it. You are IT.

I know I'm very much passionate about quantum physics. I had lifetimes and lifetimes practicing different modalities of healing, being of service to the Source, but I've always been aware of my abilities to work with energy. Everything is energy and you are what you think. Unfortunately, you can manifest from lack, fear, pain and very often we do so. My grandest wound was not feeling wanted. And that's the place I manifested my reality from my whole life. I made myself needed. I was still quite successful in my life, but at some stage it was just no longer enough. It's so important to have that heart = mind connection. It was time to step into my true essence and manifest from a place of Wholeness. Every time you feel triggered, let ego slip way and bring yourself back to your heart centre. And layer after layer peel off the old conditioning that's holding you back. You might not be ready for the full "death/rebirth", but all in divine timing. Maybe the journey is to reach your best version of yourself in this life time in order to step into your next human journey with less karmic baggage, energetic imprint. There is so much more to us than this 3D experience. We are divine beings having a human experience. Ever evolving, growing, expanding. We're all on our own individual journeys, different stages, but I believe we have the same goal. To embrace our shadow self so we can reach that state of oneness with the Source. To see the Divinity within every single one of us and everything around us. But you can't have light without the darkness. To truly know yourself you must embrace them both. 

I've read over the last few months many books and articles and watched so many documentaries and the more I research the more I realise how powerful I am. Whether for myself or my clients, I go as deep as astral plains and channel the "universal energy" in different dimensions. What I do is healing done by shifting energy at a quantum (energetic) level, but in different dimensions. I've had an amazing result with a patient who was stage 4 incurable breast cancer and is now cancer free. The healing was done by distance method and the sessions I've done for that beautiful soul were the most profound sessions I've ever done. But she was open to receive the healing, too. And of course, I've manifested healing for myself many times. Biggest one of all, mending my soul. 

We are what we think and our thoughts create reality. We remember not the actual past events and that includes ancestral trauma, trauma carried over from different lifetimes, from our ancestors, but the memory of how they made us feel and that memory is stored deep in our DNA. The energetic imprint in our cell memory can also create an imbalance of energy flow in our energy centres called chakras manifesting as disease. I’ve been struggling to find words to explain my experiences and then my guides told me its not about the words. It's about the energy. One has to have that direct contact with the Divine and feel it to understand. So I won't let it discourage me. I know my truth. I've got ME and that's what matters. I'm no longer afraid of what people think. I'm different. I always have been and that makes me ME. People will try to call you crazy. Don’t take any notice. It’s simply your growth and healing that’s triggering. You freeing yourself from the shackles of pain, trauma, unhealthy beliefs and ways of being mirrors back to them how stuck they truly are. 

I no longer want to hold back my wisdom. I was meant to go through my awakening in this lifetime. So I can share my story of healing childhood and ancestral trauma, my journey of self love, self discovery and self empowerment. I've done it intuitively. I had all the tools I needed within me. I chose to go through this. To pave way for other to do the same. To free themselves from all the energetic shackles that are holding them back from becoming magnificent.

I believe there is something so extremely powerful out there. Call it God. Spirit. The Source. It’s of such high vibration. So pure and loving and unconditional. A pure frequency of the heart. And every one of us has a little beacon inside of us and it doesn’t need batteries to run. It just needs us. Our willingness and openness to receive the healing light energy from the Source.
There is something so powerful out there it can heal. Heal broken hearts, broken minds, broken souls…
I want to share my story, my journey to show others that they were not born broken. We all were born magnificent. It’s the society, the conditioning, the expectations, ancestral and childhood traumas, self sabotaging behaviours that brake us. The beautiful thing is our bodies, minds, hearts and souls can mend. And if you feel you wondered off of your path a little too far and feel a little lost, open to the voice inside you. The frequency of your heart. Allow the ego to slip away and return to the heart. Choose love every single day. Look to see the way the ego may be guiding you and return to the heart instead.
There is something so powerful out there. So sacred and we are one with it. I used to fear it. I used to fear and doubt the power within me, but I no longer do so. And the more and more I open to the dialogue the more I remember my divinity. And the more I remember who I truly am, the more I realise how amazing and powerful I am. What an amazing experience it is to be alive woke and conscious of my own power and magic.

Follow the light. Choose heart. Be magnificent. 

From my heart to yours. Marta ✨


 ~ To catch up on previous post read "Freefalling".

~ To catch up on the entire blog go here

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1 comment

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